Sunday, November 15, 2009

Don't eat yellow snow...


It's snowing...again. And the only reason I am happy about it is because it happens to be Sunday. For most of the day I have managed to stay in my velour sweats (I did venture briefly outside to take this picture of Cheese eating her homemade snowcone) but for the most part, I have admired the white layer of chaos descended from above, from my living room couch. And I am OK with that, in fact I am better than OK with that, barring a neighborhood explosion or a 50% off sale at Nordstrom's I wouldn't drive anywhere today if you made me.

Here is the thing, some people are afraid of spiders, some of heights, others of bees. We're friends right? I will let you in on my secret fear. I am afraid of SNOW. And I DO realize that is probably the most ridiculous thing you have heard today. Unless you have been by Yahoo and saw their latest an ad for GO GIRl, a bright pink pee cone, which allows "active" women to stand to go pee.

Believe me, I understand, for many people the mere thought of snow conjures up comfort and joy and gumdrops and wintery wonderlands made up of candy canes and freakin talking snowmen, snow days, skiing, hot cocoa, kids laughter, Christmas, snow forts and marshmallow dreams...yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. Not for me, I see snow and the morning after ice and if I realize that I have to travel in it I throw up a little in my mouth.

And now living in Colorado and already into our third snowfall this winter, I realize that I am pretty much pooched and I will have to come up with a Plan B, either that or a very large bucket and some stain remover. So thinking aloud, let's see: B is for brave, or boldness or maybe a bike or a bigger car, or a boy to drive me around, or I can just suck it up and put on my big girl waterproof panties and deal with it. No, wait that's it. I will find a driver to drive me around when it snows, I mean how much could that really cost, I have a maid why not a driver? And plus, it has got to be less than what it would cost me to go to a shrink which is another option that I have truly considered. Unfortunately I can't seem to find a psychologist that specializes in inclement weather issues, is there such a thing? Because I don't think my issue with snow is something that a general psychologist could treat. It's not like my fear of snow was brought about by a childhood trauma. I mean I wasn't left outside as a kid and had to survive by sucking on icicles and frozen twigs. I just don't like snow, that's it, cut and dry, or cold and wet however you want to look at it.

Whew, so glad I got that off my chest.

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