Monday, September 21, 2009


I love, love, love my girlfriends. And even though we are far apart and now reduced to a couple of emails each week or a short status sentence on FaceBook every couple of days, it is their words that puts a smile on my face. So a big Joe Wilson/ Kayne West shout out for the Internet, WOOT, WOOT, because if it wasn't for the world wide web I wouldn't laugh near as much (or ignore my kids as much- but we will keep that to ourselves). Wait, that sounds pitiful, I do laugh all the time, as a matter of fact I laughed out loud this morning while I was volunteering in Cheese's kindergarten class when one of the kids farted out loud during story time. Fortunately, I had my cell phone with me and I immediately looked down as if it was something on my phone that made me laugh. Needless to say I will not be invited back.

So here is an exchange we had on Friday. I have changed the names to protect the innocent and gorgeous and may have added some adjectives, but hey it's my blog and seriously, why can't I?

Dear Girlfriends: All three kids have the swine flu, hubby is home "helping- which actually means getting it the way) and we are all cramped in our tiny 1200sq ft base house which is overflowed with unpacked moving boxes. I think there is a beer and a beach calling my name...Signed Losing my Mind

Dear Losing My Mind: So sorry the kids are sick, we hope you all feel better soon. Speaking of beer let me tell you what happened to me this week. I was out with the hubby this week shooting darts and I am pretty sure I was "interviewed" by a couple that likes to swing. Do they still even do that? I even got a pat on the ass. We must have looked good. We declined of course... Signed Not Swingin' Sue

Dear Losing My Mind: I will go ahead and give you a big THAT SUCKS, I feel horrible for you the kids and hubby, yuck. I do hope that everyone feels better soon. And just think as long as your stuff is in your boxes it won't get contaminated with pig germs. See how I can make your cup half full?

We are the opposite here from both of you. We have no drama, zip, zero, nada. And frankly I could use a little. Not swine drama mind you... as I knock on my compressed fake wood desk. Just a hint...or something interesting to happen. It is safe to say we are like vanilla ice cream around here, actually scratch that, if you take the vanilla out, we are like plain ice cream, with no taste, flavor or additives. Breaking news: Someone did tell me Friday night that I looked like Jennifer Aniston- which totally made my month, we think it was the hair, but I'll take it.

I guess you know your social life is in the crapper when you look at your calendar and all you see are PTA meetings and Partylite Candle parties. So save it to say that I am mostly meeting busy bodies or women who like their houses to smell freakin fresh.
And Swinging Sue, I wouldn't mind so much someone "interviewing" me. At least that would mean someone would show some interest, even if it was for my vagina instead of my mind... Signed Plain Jane, I mean Jennifer

Geez, I miss you guys. Chat soon.

1 comment:

The girl with the flour in her hair said...

Gosh, I'm excited when I look at the calendar and have a Partylite Party or a PTA meeting. It means that there is SOMETHING on my calendar and I don't feel like such a loser... :) (Of course, I just write "party" in case anyone comes over and sees it.)

Thanks for following! Love your blog!