Sunday, August 16, 2009

Sunday Comics...


Here are some bits you may not know about me (or want to) and a funny Cheese story:

Sometimes when I sneeze I pee in my pants.

Every time I see a Starbucks I think I smile a little.

Favorite word this week: Buttocks- especially if you say it out loud with a southern accent, like Forrest Gump "butt-ocks"

Profession(s) I would love: 1. Author, but would want a nice payment upfront for a book then have a year to actually write it. 2. A Barista or 3. A wine sommelier. Wouldn't that be cool to be a wine sommelier. Walking around each night spouting off nonsense about the wine choices people were making. I would carry around a glass and be like, "hey let me taste some of that, oh yes, you made a good decision."

Profession I would like least: Accountant

Thing that most disturbed me lately: Penn and Teller’s show Bullshit. They dedicated an entire show on "going organic". Did you know that growing organic produce actually takes more resources and land than growing normal produce?

My favorite curse word: Shit- without a doubt. Although yesterday, I mouthed the word F**k right in front of Mac after I thought she broke my computer. Bad mother moment.

Every time I jump on the trampoline I DO pee my pants.

Movies I will watch over and over and will cry EVERY time I see them: The Color Purple, Steel Magnolias & E.T— you know that part where he is laying on the bathroom floor all white and shit and is reaching out to the Mom who just screams and runs away. Now if my girls brought home an alien I would stock the house with Reeces Pieces and make a nice comfy bed for it.

I consider myself a liberal, mostly because I am overly empathetic. But when it comes to my family, I have mostly conservative views-- so I am a hybrid. With the exception of the second ammendment, I think all guns should be destroyed and replaced with tasers.

I dream every night (in color) and I hate that once I wake up I can't get the dream back. I rarely ever dream of my family and never my kids. But I always dream about celebrities. I have had great conversations with Jennifer Anniston, Tom Cruise & Nicole Kidman (when they were together) and I once road in a Soap Box Derby Car with Fred Savage from the Wonder Years.

I have been to over 24 countries. Our most memorable was a drive through France and Germany during the Wine Festival season. It was unplanned and unorganized, and if it weren’t for our GPS I would have left my husband on a dirt road in France. But it was the best trip ever-- sometimes the best are the least expected.

And a funny story...this morning Cheese was eating her Banana Cream Pie yogurt, (don't judge I know it was pie flavored and she was having it for breakfast but it was Banana.) So I look over and she is sharing it with the cat, and Ella is licking it right out of the container.
Me: "Cheese do not share your breakfast with the cat."
She looks over and says, "Mom do cats actually lick their butts?"
Me: "Of course they do honey".
Cheese: "Ok then I'm done with this, can I have some cereal instead?"

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