Friday, June 5, 2009

Quotes of the week...and a story from the past.

As I figure out a format for the blog I think that Fridays will be a good day to quote and reflect. I mean why can't I right?

(First a disclaimer, in order to protect the innocent, and not so innocent, I am going to assign names to my girls... from here on they my eight year old beautiful blue eyed girl will be called, Mac. And my freckled face little cherub will be called Cheese.)

When asked Mac about her day at Vacation Bible School, Mac simply replied, "You know Mom, Cheese is definitely a sinner."

Driving in the van, Cheese asked me "Mom, were there artichokes in the olden days, you know when you were young."

Cheese says, "oh that felt good, it was an air poot and it stayed in my pants".

Did she really say that?...
During the school year Mac was tasked to make a chocolate bar, name it and write a short advertisement for it after reading Chocolate Fever in class. We were in the kitchen discussing this project and after two days she came up with a name...she was going to call it the "Dick Bar". As you can imagine we were both appalled but at the same time flabbergasted as to where she would ever learn that name or associate it to a chocolate bar, we all know that they are nothing alike. She explained further that she was going to call it the DIK bar because that was backwards for KID. Whew, allowing Mac to watch Yes Man had not come back to haunt us, this of course had made more sense. But now we had to justify why all of the blood had drained from our faces a few minutes earlier. Hubby threw a long pass and a shoulder shrug and it was up to me to take it home. I explained that Dick was another name for pen__ (I know I am being a sissy, but not ready quite yet to be linked to nakedness and debauchery) just like ass was another name for butt, and hoo hoo was for vagi__. To this Cheese responds, "yeah I am still trying to find my 'gina, is it close to my ass?"


Bridget Kratt said...


I can't stop laughing at these poignant posts - you may just have a future career as a writer! I signed up for an RSS feed so I can enjoy future insights. Thanks for sharing! Bridget

Lindy said...

You are cracking my shit up! Seriously...Colorado and not back here...this SUCKS!

Dawn said...

Very nice Tara! Mia just asked me why I was laughing... not sure I am ready to explain all that to her just yet! Good stuff!

Anonymous said...

Hey Kiddo - I think you have something with this blog. Very well done and you are one heck of a writer. I know which side of the family you got that from. HAH!