Monday Madness...It's getting a little crazy up in here.
Did you see AMAs last night? Lady Gaga what, what the hell was that? I mean who came up with that whole costume scenario? I would have liked to be a fly on that wall:
Lady Gaga: "OK, here is my vision, for the AMA's, I want to dress like a shrimp, but a pretty shrimp. You know like one of those florescent shrimp that sit on the bottom of the ocean and never see the sunlight so they create their own light."
Agent: "Oh yes, that is a great idea Gaga. I so totally see where you are going with this. You can be angry because you live in the sunless depths of the ocean."
Lady Gaga: "Yes, and because I am so angry I will light my piano on fire and put myself in a box where I can inhale all the smoke fumes. And I can crush liquor bottles on my keyboards. Because I am a pissed off shrimp...
And then there is Rihanna, was that really a song or was she just making up words? She too seemed a little angry. Maybe I am too old to "get it." Don't get me wrong I am definitely on Team Rihanna when it comes to her and her smuck of a boyfriend/beater Chris Brown. But I felt like my kids probably feel when they see me smudging lotion all over myself after getting out of the shower. Both perturbed and confused, but it smells so good so they for a while. And WTF was she wearing? Or more importantly where were her boobs?
Oh, and Houston we are clear for lift off. Whitney, you crazy crack ho, you done good. Finally.
Technology...Oh, I have tried to get my Twitter on...check me out, let's chat.
Weather...It is snowing AGAIN, didn't mention that in the forecast. Good thing I cancelled all of my plans today.
Amazing fact...The Big Cheese did eleven loads of laundry yesterday, no shit EL-LE- VEN. And for this moment, right now, every piece of clothing, every towel, washcloth, Halloween costume, pillow case and sheet in my house is CLEAN. With the exception of four pairs of underwear and 3 sets of Pajamas (which we are wearing as I type this at noon on a Monday). Oh and I can't help that every time I walk by the laundry hamper and see it sitting there empty, I dance a little jig (well it's actually a mixture of a skip and a cross body lead).
Life: I would like to try Pole dancing...
Travel: Three days until the
Photos: Do you think it is unrealistic to think that Matt Lauer will have any time for a photo with my family? Because I am counting on that photo to be on my 2009 Christmas Card. It may go something like this...
"Hey Matt, woo hoo, over here. Listen I'll give you twenty bucks (twenty ones rolled tightly) if you just look over here for one minute. Hey Matt, I-AM-TALKING- TO-YOU...you better get your ass over here. Yelling a little louder...Hey, Mr. Clean, I flew over 1600 freakin miles to take my Christmas photo with you. Not with Al but with you, you pompous ass. Now screaming...I will photoshop you in there anyway it is in your best interest to mug for the camera, come over here!"
"OK, Mac go stand there and Cheese go over there. Oh, wait my eyes were closed, lets try that again. Oh, shoot, Mac wasn't looking at the camera, let's try one more time."
Hey Matt where are you going? Don't leave, we have just a few more to shoot.